Phantom Poop

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Is it just me or does anyone else suffer from the Phantom Poop when you are out for a run? It hasn’t happened to me for a long time, but then I haven’t really been doing that much running recently, but today the Phantom Poop decided to rear it’s little head while I was out for my morning run.

According to my training plan, I should have run yesterday, and had every intention of doing so, with some slight C25K tweaking for the purposes of parkrun. But it didn’t happen. I woke up with a bit of a dodgy stomach on account of eating too much fruit on Friday – not that I’m particularly into healthy eating, but fruit takes zero preparation and I couldn’t be bothered to cook.

Anyway, this morning my stomach seemed to be back to normal so I headed down to the seafront for the session that I should have done yesterday. I wasn’t going to worry about doing 5K though. As long as I got four five minute running segments in with my 5:2 ratio, I would be happy – I also needed to do an Insanity workout today to stay on track so I didn’t want to over do it this morning.

So, I headed off at a nice slow pace, enjoying the early morning peace, quiet and sunshine of the promenade. But after about three minutes I started to feel the need to go to the toilet. It wasn’t urgent but it was definitely there, so I decided I’d hold on and see how it went. I pass the public toilets twice on my route so I could pop in then if I had to. It wouldn’t be a problem.

After the first five minutes of running, the need to go seemed to pass, but once I started running again it came back. Fortunately, I finished my second running section just as I was approaching the toilets so I decided to pause the Garmin and sort it out.

Needless to say, however, now that I wasn’t running I didn’t feel the need to go any more so I decided to carry on and ignore it.

Thankfully, other than a bit of minor discomfort, the run itself was fairly uneventful and I finished the final running section at 3.6K in just over 25 minutes. And I made it home without incident for a nice strong post-run coffee in my favourite morning coffee mug – Turtle Power indeed!*


*Sorry, but I couldn’t resist that one.

How’s your training going? Have you encountered the Phantom Poop on your morning run… or is it really just me? Please share your thoughts in the comments.


13 thoughts on “Phantom Poop”

  1. Love the joke. One day I shall own a tortoise and I shall name him head!
    In other news, yup phantom poop on long runs, and the farts. Most scary is a combination of the two.

  2. YES, I have had this problem! I have narrated about it in my head as I ran but never quite wanted to put it in the blog post. I have no public facilities on my usual route, but once a miraculous porta-potty at a construction site came to my rescue with a pee issue (that one I wrote a blog post about). Just to tell you more than you wanted to know, once it was not phantom but I luckily made it home and to the toilet in time!

    1. Ha ha! Not just me then…. The worst bit is trying to figure a pace that will get you home in time without making matters worse! Luckily I made it home safely that time too. 😉

      1. Yeah apparently haha. According to some long runs (actual running not toilet runs haha, sorry!!) The body does many things and as a reaction, we poo.

      2. Hmm… So because I felt like I was doing a long run (even though it was less than 4K), I also felt like I was having ‘long runs’ (but it was just the Phantom)? All makes perfect sense sense now. 😉

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